Relationships and the Writer

What’s on the iPod: Sweet Dreams by The Eurythmics

Remember when weekends were relaxing? Since my kid and her husband moved out (just over a week ago), we have been working nonstop to paint bedrooms, a bathroom, clean carpets, and furnish the empty rooms because, you guessed it, another kid is moving in.

Maybe. The stepson and his new family are in between homes (selling one, buying another), and the timing was slightly askew. It wasn’t until we were nearly finished on Sunday afternoon that we found out their visit may be delayed, if it happens at all. Not that I mind either way — guests are great, but so are newly decorated rooms. The work needed to be done no matter what. So I spent a few hours on Saturday and nearly nine hours on Sunday painting. My hands, neck, shoulders, and feet were killing me.

I was talking with my chum Jake Poinier, a.k.a. Dr. Freelance, about a joint project we’re working on. He shared a copy of his latest e-book, The Smooth-Sailing Freelancer, which I think every writer should download it for free today.

Jake has a great writing voice. He personalizes content so that you feel part of his world, and you can see right away the relevance of what he’s saying. That in itself makes it a good read.

But the real gem is in the content. Here is your complete guide to freelance success. Each chapter details one more step in the freelance process — from cold calling (and how it transformed his business) to finding business to closing deals to losing bad clients. It’s all here. Moreover, Jake shows you (with pie graphs even) why client diversity is essential to the health of your business. Plus there’s an entire section devoted to getting referrals via persuasion.

I think what resonated most with me was something Jake said early in the book — this is a business of personal connections. The way in which you approach your prospects has everything to do with your chances of winning the client’s business. And in his usual style, Jake gives a terrific example of how one writer did it and lost him completely.

Think about it this way — if someone walks up to you on the street and asks you for money, what’s your first reaction?

Duck the head and walk faster.

Why? Because we feel pestered, put on the spot, maybe even a little taken advantage of. Someone is asking for us to extend courtesies without us knowing who they are, why they need our money, and why it should be our issue to solve.

The same goes for finding writing clients. Or it should, right?

So where are you going wrong as a writer?

Skipping the dating stage. When you sent a note to that client prospect asking for some work, you went from zero to married. Slow it down a bit. First, introduce yourself. Tell your prospect why you’re writing — you work in their field, you wanted to make contact to see if they would have a need at some point, and you’re inviting them to a longer conversation. Keep it brief, friendly, and noncommittal.

Asking too much. I had this happen a few times. In one case, a writer I barely know (I remember connecting with her once about seven years ago) had written to me asking for me to pass along “overflow” work. In no time over those seven years had she ever interacted with me. Worse, her note was a group note. While I sympathized with her need, I didn’t feel like she cared enough to ask properly.

Oversharing. Yep, same note. I learned the reasons why this writer had a sudden, urgent need. It was almost uncomfortable reading the sordid details (and there were details). If your prospect is uncomfortable, you’re probably never hearing from them again. And you’re probably going to be sent right to the Spam folder from now on.

Not personalizing at all. Like the example above, I’ve received notes with no personalization. Recently, one writer sent a note with no “Dear….” Just launched right into the need without saying anything that sounded like she was talking with me. Instead, she talked at me. Since I suspect the note wasn’t personalized because other writers were receiving it too, I figured she didn’t need my help. If you don’t show your prospect that they matter, you’ll have a tough time convincing them you’ll personalize their project.

Fixing what may not be broken. I remember one client actually doing this to me — in a conversation, he stopped me mid-sentence and said “You really need to lose your accent.” Why? Because he had, and we had grown up in the same area. He was a public speaker. I am not. So who cares if I have an accent? It comes out when I talk to other people from my hometown. Don’t assume because a client may need you that you need to be telling them how to run their business.

Writers, what mistakes have you seen that are turning off clients?